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Friday, June 14, 2013

Modern Outlaws

The flamboyant English Professor burst through the doors of the prestigious University Club,  and in his best Yosemite Sam voice said, "sasparilly, and make it snappy!"  
He pointed at the President of the University Dr. Falco, whom was dining with several cheerleaders and a golf pro alumnus known for donating large sums of cash towards athletics.
“Now all-a-you skunks clear outta here! I've got business with Falco.”
The professor sat next to the high profile academic and grabbed a handful of his pommes frites.
“Adam  I've ventured far and wide in my travels, be it by air, land or sea. I've been a pirate, a prospector and a gunslinger, but this professoring is as crooked as a dogs hind leg.”
The President sipped his Kyoto cocktail and raised his eyebrows with interest.
"Look Adam, I work less than 12 hours a week. I got a bunch of academic staffers doing the grunt work for peanuts and thanking me while they do it. Hell's bells, lets not pull possum's noses here. Humanities departments research is on obscure topics that only other humanity professors read.  I love it! I can't wait until the next outlaw conference, this is the best racket ever."
The President nodded, smiled, and placed his finger over his cold, angry lips, before saying, "Shhhh."